Sometimes It's Hard To Let It Go

The title is inspired from a band called Railroad Earth. The song is called "Seven Story Mountain." Quite a neat little song. Today this song fits my mood I suppose. I think I'm beginning to realize that this is really almost like an ending to all things I have known for 18 years running.

Every year around this time, the Ledgewood Mall has the entrance of Santa into the mall. They have a variety of things to do, like a magic show, photo's with Santa, along with other things. One unique thing they do is have a sleigh ride every year. For the past five years or so, I've been basically managing this day long event. Granted, I don't do all of the hard stuff like drive the car, or prepare the car or order the company to come down or anything like that, but I just take tickets, talk to people in line, and help people load and unload. It's a simple thing really, but I think I finally realized how much things are going to change soon enough. It's the last time I will be doing it.

Something about this feeling makes me somewhat excited. On one hand, I feel like within the next six months or so, times will begin to change drastically. I look forward to being able to try new things, and I'm hoping that I'll have enough courage and openness to go and try new things. However, I also get the feeling that I'm leaving a lot behind. Maybe not a lot, just a little, but that little bit of something has worlds of comfort and value to me in it. I'm not always incredible with change, and overall I've been extremely happy the past two and a half years or so. I fear that maybe this change will be very drastic for me, and I'm not sure how I'll handle it.

At any rate though, I don't feel as if I should try and stop. It's like standing in a river and trying to reverse the current. Time won't bend to the strength of a virtual speck of dust in the universe, so maybe accepting it with no resistance will bring better results. I think that sounds right, I'll play this one out like I play most of them out: let happen what must happen. If something isn't right, or something needs to change, well it's changing for a reason, and I need to try and be optimistic about it all. It's always brighter on the other side of the mountain. Not to say that I'm on the dark side of life now at all, but sometimes things may be unclear.

Ah, here we are. Found the lyrics finally! =) From the Black Bear Sessions, here's "Seven Story Mountain":

oh lord, to see a light
but fail in strength to follow

. . sometimes it's hard to let it go

oh lord, to fail in heart
and each day grow more hollow
. . . sometimes i just don't wanna know

but the road that led me here
is begun to disappear
sometimes i wonder where i am

oh lord, to hear a voice
but let it fade & wallow
. . . sometimes it's hard to let it go

oh lord, to find the words
but keep them in & swallow
. . . one day the top is gonna blow

but the road that left me here
is begun to disappear
sometimes i wonder who i am

oh lord, to stumble blind
for years without knowing
. . . sunrise has burned my eyes again

oh lord, to crumble quiet
watching from the silence
. . . sunrise has burned my eyes again

it's a Seven-Story-Mountain
it's a long-long -life we live
gotta find a light & fill my heart again

it's a Seven-Story -Mountain
it's a long-long-life ahead
gonna find a voice & fill my throat again.

Thanks to the Yahoo group Earthboard for hosting the lyrics to all three albums (not including Elko, the recently released live album. Not much reason to have lyrics for that). Take it easy folks.