Happy Birthday Me

Tomorrow, that is.

18 years, and I'm not too concerned about it. Too many other things to do I suppose haha. Oh well, though. It's been a fine 18 years... I hope another fine 18 years are left to come!

I've been very busy between the 4th and now (the 19th) which is why my writing is nonexistent. I guess being busy is a good thing, though. I suppose it's better than doing nothing with my time at all. The hard part is trying to keep up with sleep. I just can't seem to do it. Even after a weekend of going to sleep reasonably early and getting up fairly late, it still feels like I'm never back to 100%. The school loads I've had has been fairly tough, but I think I'm keeping up with it for the most part. I need to probably step it up another notch, but I think I'm doing okay. More importantly, though, I just wish I had some more down time to spend with friends and my girlfriend and whatnot. It's a tough situation though, one which I'll just have to live with for a while more.

Anyway folks, I have to get going to work in a little bit. Later.

End of Summer

"Winter rain, now tell me why, Summers fade, and roses die.
The answer came; the wind and rain.
Golden hills, now veiled in grey, Summer leaves have blown away
Now what remains? The wind and rain.

And like a desert spring, my lover comes and spreads her wings, Knowing,
Like a song that's born to soar the sky, Flowing,
Flowing 'til the waters all are dry, Growing, the loving in her eyes."

I guess the only way I can explain it is that well, it's the end of summer. It's been a rather neat one for me, as they all have over the past few years. In one sense or another, I'm glad it's ending and I can start a new chapter in my life. In another sense, I feel like as if I've just gotten it all squared away and back into a graceful equilibrium of loving and learning. All good (and bad) things must end eventually, though and I suppose this is no exception.

I've learned that life is relative; relative to each and every human which walks the face of the beast we call earth. No one perspective will ever justify every sense or feeling or sensation or emotion or whatever else you can think of. It's sometimes hard to understand and accept it, but it's by far one thing I've learned.

I've also learned that talking bares much more importance than I once thought it did. Not only in the sense that you need to talk sometimes for a person to understand, but that the ways in which we say things may be interpreted. Once again, this falls back upon relativity of each person. It's hard to keep in mind all perspectives, but it's appreciated if you do try and keep these perspectives in mind.

Along with the above, I've learned that sometimes solitude is also a vital part of talking. Time alone will help really drive the importance of talking. Sometimes you forget feelings from the past, and sometimes you need to be alone to remember them and remember what you will or would be missing if you were alone all the time. Clarity is a gift, but a well earned gift by any standards.

All and all? I've learned that things mean a whole real lot to you, and sometimes bad events can remind you that you can never forget those things and why they mean so much to you.

On a lighter note, I've also learned that I don't like working the day before we go back to school. It's not cool, man! But what can I say? Sometimes you can't just get everything your way. As for me, well, I'll try and keep updating here when I have a chance or remember to, but I make no promises. Between this and my website, you should be able to see that I'm still living a little bit and that I am trying to do some productive things. But for now, this is about all I have to say. Sleep well, folks.

-dswain