These days, I tend to question often what people are striving for in life. I really wish I knew myself, but that simple doesn't seem to be the case. I know I love computer related things, so inevitably I think I'll study that, but so many other things are interesting to me also. So, even though this may be the path I'll follow, I don't know exactly what it'll lead me to.
I know a lot of people who already know how there life is going to be. It's a little scary to think about. On the surface, it seems great. People with good planning skills is usually a good thing, or at least can be, but I question exactly what it is that's causing this drive on the core of things. Is it really yourself, or is it external influences? I pose the question simply to make people think about themselves a little and see exactly what they have to say.
I understand that some things and people are truthful though. I know that many have the personal drive to go and work hard at no matter what they're doing, and really want to be the absolute best at whatever they do. Honestly, that's fine if you ask me. The idea of that can be a great thing, but it's also a rather large and negative thing if it's not what you want in life. Living for others can be a great thing, but when you lose sight of what good you see in the things you want to do and work hard for, what's the point of trying I wonder.
As I said before, I'm not convicting any certain peoples of doing this, but rather, am hopeful that everyone does keep themselves in mind. There's one person you deal with all your life, and that's yourself, so you might as well make yourself happy. Honestly, yourself can be the biggest bitch sometimes, so why not try to make sure it's satisfied and happy? I just hope that as people go through life, they take at least one moment to stop what they're doing and reminding themselves as to why they do what they do. Whatever the reasons are and were, I simply hope there are reasons for them. I feel as if we live in a place where we're all in a rat race to the end of our lives when suddenly we realize that we misused it in some way, and suddenly lose the chance of appreciating it.
As for me, well, who knows. I suppose all will be well, because I have no idea, but I'm just going to go with whatever I feel like. I refuse to accept the fact, as much as I enjoy them, numbers will control the rest of my life with bounds. I always thought numbers had simply no bounds what so ever, and weren't created for some superficial human limit that we bind our lives to. I just can't imagine a life where the grades I got at one point, or the number of dollars I made, or the number of years of school I had and so on, were limits to what I was allowed to do with my time and my life. I know that this is kind of hard to understand; It doesn't fit any ideal we have in this country, and that's where the problem lies. Happiness and life don't have to rely on these forms of things, but we are sadly stuck to the point where it's as if another option didn't exist. Personally, it tends to make things unfair for those who simply can't subject themselves to these things. Some of the smartest people I know simply don't try a day in school and really don't care in the end. It doesn't satisfy them, so why bother? I'm glad to be friendly with people this, and also people who are willing to dedicate themselves every day for any problem or subject, enjoyable or not, for something else. I'm glad to know people on all ends, because I feel as if it gives me a good standing on where I am. I always seem to be in the middle of these types of things, so I think it gives me an idea as to where I stand somewhat more clearly.
Anyway, figured I'd just chat about that, as I've been seeming to talk about it a lot recently. It's been on my mind, and I needed to express myself a little more clearly if I could help it. Life has been alright these days. Personally I'm pretty much fine. Living day-to-day, just having fun with new experiences and other mysterious things. I feel sort of bad though, simply because things haven't been cheery with everyone in my life, which has been kind of stressful for me in a sense. I'm sure not nearly as much as the others in the situations, but I really just feel helpless when life gets to be this way so much. I know that some say they're just satisfied to have somebody with them, but I just wish I had more words to put together and bring peace to them. Unfortunately, though, I really just find myself running out of them. There are only so many bad things I can make go away with my words, right? I also find it odd that I've had it so nice recently. I remember I used to feel so much more stress, or maybe I just thought I did and never really did. At any rate though, times have been nice for me virtually all the time, so I just wonder when my turn is up is all. This isn't important, though, as there are other much more important people I feel that need caring for then my lack-of-issues issue.
That's about all I have to say for tonight. Everyone, enjoy the night.
